remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Randomize