the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
