You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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