Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
