I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
