i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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