I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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