Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
smell my finger.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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