I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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