Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Success! We fucked roommates!
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
