just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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