We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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