Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
