And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
