Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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