After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
