bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Randomize
