Umm I'm too high to move.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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