He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
He? As in you personified your dick?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Randomize
