**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
