someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
