I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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