i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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