Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
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