I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
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