sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
