I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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