I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
