Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
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