Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
