I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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