Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
