there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
