i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
She announced her abortion via fbk
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
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