hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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