My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I want you more than these girls want KFC
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize