It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
