This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Randomize
