She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
