Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
