hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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