I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Randomize
