So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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