Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
