Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
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