I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
