hotel room ftw
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
