I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Randomize
