he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
