Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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