doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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