Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Randomize
