I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
