It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Randomize
