what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
