a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
