how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Randomize