it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
