I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
